5 Reasons Premarital Counseling is Important

It’s almost time for the wedding. You’ve spent countless hours (and probably lots of $$) prepping for the wedding. The guests are excited, all of your vendors have been double and triple checked. All that’s left to do now is enjoy the day and tie the knot.

A month passes and this marriage thing is harder than you thought. You’re finding it challenging to communicate, you never feel like you’re on the same page, and living together just isn’t that fun.

You’ve done what thousands of other couples have done: you spent more time preparing for the wedding, instead of preparing for the marriage.

It doesn’t have to be that way! The fact you’re reading this shows you’re excited for the wedding, but preparing (seriously) for the marriage.

One of the best ways couples can set themselves up for success in marriage is to go through formal, premarital counseling. This is something that is typically facilitated through a church or marriage counselor and uses a structured, step-by-step program that will help you prepare for marriage.

Our premarital counseling was through Merge at Watermark Church in Dallas (side note, if you’re in or near Dallas/North Texas, Merge is a MUST). We covered the following topics:

  1. Biblical view of marriage
  2. Communication & conflict
  3. Biblical roles in marriage
  4. Finances
  5. Expectations
  6. and Sexual intimacy

Most premarital counseling programs will follow a similar structure.

However, you might be thinking, “that’s great, but I don’t have time for that. We have 4,254 other things to do!” Let us challenge you on that. Here are 5 reasons premarital counseling is important:

1. You cover tough topics

Reading a book or trying to prepare for marriage on your own is cool, but you’ll tend to avoid the tough topics and deep, important questions. A premarital counselor will hold you accountable and facilitate healthy conversations around these topics.

2. You get a Biblical and unbiased viewpoint

We recommend going through faith-based premarital counseling. Most churches will offer this for free or for a minimal fee. In doing so, you’ll get a Biblical response to things you’re working through. It’s very possible that one of your expectations is not Biblical or healthy. Rather than bringing these into your marriage, your counselor will help you address and overcome these obstacles.

3. You get a structure for conflict, finances, and more

Many premarital counseling programs have been around for a while. As a result, these programs will provide frameworks and structures for communication, conflict, finances, and more. They help you deal with these issues before they arise, and give you steps to take when they do come up.

4. You iron out the wrinkles

Premarital counseling is supposed to be challenging. When you learn how to fight, get on the same page, and work through challenges before you’re married, your marriage will be so much smoother. We thought we were ready for marriage, but our pre-marital counseling showed us we still had some gaps we needed to close.

5. You’ll love your first year

Premarital counseling isn’t a box to check while you’re engaged. It’s a way to prepare yourself for marriage so your marriage becomes a source of joy and fulfillment honors God. We truly believe if you prepare for marriage, you’ll love your first year and beyond.

Have a question about premarital counseling? Email us at hello@loveyourfirstyear.com