Creating an Intentional Engagement

When the dust settles from the proposal, what naturally follows is a flurry of questions about wedding venues, dates, colors, invitations, guests, details, and more.

It’s normal to get excited about the wedding.

We had an awesome wedding and we spent a lot of time planning for it. It was a blast. Check out the video here.

But you didn’t get engaged to have a wedding… You got engaged to have a marriage.

Engagement is more than event planning, it’s life planning. Being engaged is not a status, it’s a process. A time to prepare for your life ahead.

Here are a few things we did (or wish we had done) to make the most of our engagement and prepare for marriage.

1. Participate in Premarital Counseling

We attended Merge at Watermark Church in Dallas and it was incredible for our relationship. Be sure to connect with your local church and go through a structured premarital counseling program.

A few things to consider when looking for a premarital program:

  • It should be rooted in the truths of the Bible
  • Your counselor(s) should be married
  • It should cover topics like finances, communication, conflict, expectations, and sex

2. Talk About Expectations

On the way home from Merge, we went through a list of expectation questions they gave us. These questions covered a wide range of topics and helped us understand the expectations we had. These expectations are the foundation of your marriage so it’s important to talk about them in a safe, neutral environment where you can freely share your feelings and thoughts.

If you’re looking for a list of expectations we’d recommend talking through, scroll down, enter your email address, and we’ll send you 50 question that every couple needs to answer before they get married.

3. Look Beyond the Wedding

Yes, the wedding is important. The wedding night is important. The honeymoon is important. All of those things are fun and it’s totally normal to be excited about them. You should be excited about them! But, remember, we’re preparing for a marriage here, too. During your engagement, start to talk about things beyond the wedding. Begin to establish healthy communication habits, learn how to resolve conflicts appropriately, get to know your future spouse in new ways.

One of the biggest stressors in a marriage is money. While you’re creating an intentional engagement, you should be preparing your finances for marriage.

Here’s to an awesome engagement and an even better marriage!