How to Pray Together

Praying together is an area we’re still working to get better at. It’s easy to just “forget” to do it, but as you prepare to step into marriage, this is a discipline that will guide your relationship, your decisions, and your intimacy as a couple.

Before you start, it’s important to remember that prayer makes you (and your partner) vulnerable. With that in mind, here are some “ground rules” as you start praying together:

  • Never tease or make fun of your fiancé for what they pray for or how they pray.
  • Listen to what your partner is praying. This will help you understand their wants and needs.
  • Encourage your partner to keep praying on their own time and let them know you’ll be doing the same. Individual prayer is an important part of communal prayer.

Now that those are out of the way… here’s how you pray together:

1. Choose who will start

We typically alternate who starts. If this is your first time praying together, determine who will take the lead and who will finish.

2. Ask each other, “how can I pray for you?”

You’ll have some of the “common” prayers together (pray for the wedding, pray for the marriage, etc), but this is a great opportunity to understand your future spouse’s wants and needs and selflessly pray for those things.

3. First person starts

This is a little cheesy, but you can follow the “A.C.T.S.” Model of prayer when you start. First, you pray with adoration (“God are you so good”), then confess your own sins and shortcomings (“God please forgive me for not loving others as I should”), then thank Him (“God thank you for your provision and grace”), and finally, ask for supplication (“God we ask you to bless our marriage”). This simple pattern will allow you to pray with confidence.

The A.C.T.S. Model of Prayer:

A – Adoration
C – Confession
T – Thanksgiving
S – Supplication

4. Second person finishes

Use the ACTS model mentioned above, pray for your spouse‘s needs, and say amen. Seriously, it’s that easy.

It might be a little awkward at first, and that’s totally fine. Prayer takes practice. The more you do it, the better you’ll get.