This post was written by our friends AJ & Alyssa Rodriquez
If you’re engaged and under 25, you may have already been on the receiving end of the following questions:
“Why would you get married so young? You don’t have enough experience to know what you really want.”
“Are you sure you want to get married young? Marriage is really hard and there’s no going back.”
“Are you guys pregnant? Is that why you’re getting married now??”
As encouraging as these are (I trust you sense my sarcasm), these are all questions that my fiancé (now husband) and I found ourselves answering over and over again.The truth is, it’s not that these people were wrong (except for the pregnant part…we definitely weren’t). Marriage can be hard at times and we really were inexperienced. I mean, we were high school sweethearts!
Looking back at the beginning of our dating relationship, we almost cringe at the naivety of our adolescent romance. You may as well have slapped a stamp on our foreheads that said: “young, dumb, and in love”.
And although there were plenty of mistakes that we made as two teens who were young and in love, getting married wasn't one of them.
Despite the criticism and constant questioning of others, we knew that marriage was the right next step for us.
The financial part of getting married young
As a Christian couple, our journey to our wedding day looked a bit different. At the time, we were both attending a private Christian University, (wracking up debt, might I add, *cough *cough), working part-time, and living with our families. Looking at the facts, we had no business trying to get married at this point in life.
We’ve always been told not to get married until our careers were established, we can afford to buy a house, we have health insurance and incredible benefits, we’re out of debt, and blah blah blah… #adultingOkay, I know these things are actually pretty important; but if I’m being honest, we didn’t have any of these when we decided to get married. Heck, we didn’t even know how we were going to afford a wedding!
So was getting married young a financially wise decision for us? Absolutely not! Do we regret getting married young? ABSOLUTELY NOT!
As a young engaged couple, the facts were clearly stacked up against us. But it’s crazy how the Lord can take something that seems impossible and turn it into a miracle!
Trusting God with the details
You see, A.J. (my husband) and I understood that weddings are stupid expensive, yet there we were, $200 in our pockets, trying to plan a wedding. So together, we made the decision to trust God and believe for His will to be done in our relationship (this is key!). With the tiny bit of money that we had for our wedding, we decided to give it in a church offering; knowing that God could do way more with our money than we ever could. I mean, have you seen how expensive weddings can be? You can hardly get a bouquet for $200! Not to mention the price of the dress, the venue, the cake, the food, the DJ… I digress.
Little did we know, almost immediately after we gave that offering with hopeful hearts, the blessings would come flooding in. Before we knew it, we had friends and family calling us offering to donate a venue, pay for the dress, supply a food truck, offer DJ services, gift the cake, provide the flowers, lend us a time-share, and so on… And I’m not exaggerating when I say, we didn’t pay for anything.
God can do A LOT with our LITTLE.
It had never been more clear to us that it was God’s will for us to get married. And when we did, we had the wedding of our dreams.But remember! It didn’t make ANY sense for us to get married! When we just look at the physical, we were truly setting ourselves up for failure. But instead of looking at our circumstances, we looked to our Savior; and nothing ever made more sense than getting married when we did.
Three questions to ask
If you’re young and wondering if marriage is the right next step for you, ask yourselves these questions:
- Do we fully trust God with our means and finances?
- Do we serve His kingdom better together?
- Do we fully surrender to His will for our lives, whatever it may be?
Now, this isn’t a questionnaire that is going to give you a “yay or nay” on whether or not you should get married young. But we truly do believe that if you both whole-heartedly rely on God—the provider, the way-maker, the miracle-worker, the promise-keeper—you’ll find your answer.
“Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” - Psalm 37:4
